Swing High: How Shame, a Child’s Laughter, and a Paintbrush Helped Me Begin Again
- Nov 11, 2018
- 3 min read
Updated: Oct 5
At 35, shame nearly swallowed me whole.Then a little girl’s laughter broke me open.
I was torn between staying stuck in regret or daring to believe I could begin again.Self-blame clung like a second skin, and every regret whispered: you’ll never be enough.
But somewhere inside, a tiny part of me still hoped. Hoped that if I could just let go of the past, maybe—just maybe—I could find the strength to move forward.
Then it happened.A sound floated across the yard—light, full of life.
I turned to see her: back and forth on a swing, legs pumping hard, hair flying wild. I couldn’t see her face, but her joy? Unmistakable.
That’s when it hit me: I didn’t just want to feel better.I wanted to swing again.I wanted to feel alive.I wanted to restart.
I had just picked up a paintbrush for the first time. It didn’t make sense, but something deep inside whispered: this could be the beginning of everything.
So I chose to believe I was worthy—worthy of going back to college at 35, worthy of learning something new, worthy of joy. I chose to let go of regret. I chose to swing.
Now, I’ve painted this piece to honor that choice.To honor the moment a laugh cracked me open.To honor restarting.
Although my art is visible, its invisible message is there for anyone—to comfort you, to guide you, to encourage you to be brave.
3 Lessons on Resilience in Midlife
Sometimes the simplest messages stay with us the longest.
One of my favorites comes from a children’s book: Pete the Cat and His Four Groovy Buttons by Eric Litwin.
As Pete loses his colorful buttons one by one, he keeps singing:
“Stuff will come and stuff will go. But do we cry? Goodness NO!”
It’s a book my grandkids adore, but the lessons are timeless for adults—especially in midlife.
Lesson #1 - Perseverance
Pete may be losing his buttons one-by-one, but I encourage you to dig a bit deeper.
Pete offers an important message: When set-backs present themselves we need to march forward. By pushing past the road blocks we become stronger.
Pete's lighthearted song may teach kids to sing along, but the words to keep trying is a great message for adults, too.
Leaving my first career as a nurse to pursue my love of color and painting, it was perseverance that saw me through.
Lesson #2 - Resilience
As Pete's buttons pop off from 4 ... 3... 2... 1... he just keeps singing!
It may be a learning-to-count lesson for kids, but it is a lesson in buoyancy, and the ability to recover readily from adversity for adults!
My younger, greener self made some naive choices. It was resilience that carried me.
Lesson #3 - Gratitude
When Pete's last button pops off, he looks down at his button-less shirt. What does he do?
He keeps on singing.
Why?
Because he has his belly button!
Leave it to a kids' book to show us such grace!
And be thankful for our blessings.
Final Thoughts
Pete the Cat may sing for kids, but his wisdom is for all of us: Perseverance.Resilience.Gratitude.
Three lessons I’ve carried from shame to swinging high, from nursing to painting, from regret to restart.
If you’re standing at a crossroads, maybe this is your reminder:You don’t have to have it all figured out.
You just have to believe you’re worth the ride.The rest? It comes with the swing.
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