Resilience in Midlife: 5 Proven Benefits and the Knock That Taught Me to Restart

Friendship in an Unexpected Place

Sometimes strength comes from the most unexpected friendships. For me, it began with a spunky landlord and a knock I’ll never forget.

With the promise of a diamond ring and roses, I followed a man 1,000 miles.Sixty-three days later, he asked me to leave.

I was stunned. But I didn’t move back home. I couldn’t. I had alienated my family.

Shame and guilt became my new roommates in a basement apartment with only slivers for windows.

It was the size of a coffin.

The little basement apartment where resilience began to knock

Then came a knock on the door.“You-hoo! Anybody home?”

It was my landlord, Marge. Small but mighty, and full of spunk.

Friendship That Held Like Birch Trees

Marge spotted my art doodles on the table and said, “I like those. I do pottery at the college.”

Then she plunked herself down, folded her arms, and waited for me to speak.

And I did.

Tears.

Heartache.

Regret.

She listened to it all.

When I paused, she leaned in:“My Fred’s been gone nine years. I left the convent for him, and people still think I failed. But I’ve had a life full of love. You will, too.”

Then she reached for my hand and said, “Come with me to the college.”That moment changed everything.

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Rooted Together in Resilience

Years later, I still think of Marge.

Before her, I thought love had to come from men. But Marge helped me begin again—to love myself, flaws and all.

Now I lean on female friendships like birch trees lean on each other:

Clustered.

Rooted.

Resilient in the storm.

"Wonderfulness" Rooted together, reminding me of resilience and connection.

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Friendships That Gathered Around Me

That resilience didn't just grow from Marge's wisdom - it multiplied when new friends stepped into my life.

Soon my tiny basement apratment was bustling with women from the college, rallyying together to help me meet a deadline for one-of-a-kind art collages in a corporate order.

Basement apartment - turned art studio. With glue guns in hand, new friendships carried me forward.

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The Proven Benefits of Resilience

Psychologists define resilience as the ability to adapt and bounce back from adversity. It's not a fixed trait - it can be strengthened at any age.

Research highlights 5 Powerful Benefits

1. Stress Recovery - Resilient people return to baseline faster, reducing the health impact of stress.

2. Improved Mental Health - Studies link resilience to loer anxiety and depression.

3. Longevity - Optimism and resilience are tied to longer, healthier lives (Harvard Study of Adult Development)

4. Stronger Relationships - Resilient people create deeper, more supportive connections.

5. Greater self-confidence - Every challenge overcome builds inner trust and self-worth.

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Art as a Gentle Restart - 2 ways

1. Related blog reading - The Art of Friendship - 4 ways Firends and Art Help Us Feel Whole, click here

   
   

2. Rooted Together isn’t just my story—it’s an invitation. I recently launched my Substack newsletter, Midlife Musings from the Studio. It’s brand new, so the archive is just beginning, but each letter will bring more stories and brushstrokes about resilience, art, and the gentle restarts we all need.

👉 Subscribe here